Ideas for “in Lieu of Flowers”

When someone passes away, it’s tradition to send flowers to the family members. Flowers are becoming less common in the event of a death in modern times though. Instead, many people prefer to give another gift in lieu of flowers. This may be a more personalized gift or something that will last longer than just another bouquet of flowers. Some of the best gifts to bring in lieu of flowers include: 

Family Requests 

At the bottom of the obituary page, the family may have something listed in lieu of flowers. This is commonly a donation to help cover funeral costs if the family is struggling, or an organization the deceased was passionate about that accepts monetary donations. 

Memorial Stone 

A memorial stone with a nice message is something that the family members can keep for a long time, unlike flowers. This stone could include a personalized message or a favorite religious message if the family holds religious beliefs. 

Handwritten Note

A handwritten note inside of a sympathy card says more than flowers ever could. Express your sadness over the loss and remind the family that you’re available if they need anything during this difficult time. Including an anecdote of a memory you have with the deceased will make it feel more personalized and remind the family of happier times. 

Photos of the Deceased 

If you have any photos with the deceased that the family likely doesn’t have, include them with the sympathy card or bring them on their own. When someone is gone, families cherish every memory they can have of that person, including photographs. 

Self-Care Items 

It’s often a struggle to continue caring for yourself while coping with the death of a loved one. You can bring the family a homecooked meal, journal, a book on grieving, or any other self-care item that could help them during this difficult time. Even offering to come do the dishes or help with laundry is a great gift during a time when they may not have the physical or mental stamina to do it themselves. Even if they turn down the offer, it will always be appreciated and remembered that you made the effort to offer in the first place. 


Hamel Lydon Chapel is a funeral home in the Quincy, MA area that has experience with a variety of different types of funeral services and memorials. We can help you plan out every detail of the funeral to lessen the burden you’re facing and ensure the service is something that the deceased would truly love. That includes creating a list of gifts for guests to bring in lieu of flowers. Contact us today to learn more about available services or to begin planning a funeral.

© 2021 Hamel, Lydon Chapel and Cremation Services of Massachusetts. All Rights Reserved. Funeral Home website by CFS & TA | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy